Hero
by Renakazama
Summary: "If I can't point this knife to others, then...at the very least, I can stab myself with it, right? It's better than I have to hurt others..." Reigen/Mob fic, contains trigger warning (attempted rape, underage, self-harm). Please forgive my bad english.


_I'm such a mess, the other day, I hurt myself to see_

 _Oh, if you care, if you bleed, like cracks in the mirror_

 _Oh, I slit my skin, 'til I, I felt something real_

 _Cause I was losing, losing my reflection_

* * *

 _ **「**_ _ **It's just like a knife...your power, that is.**_ _ **」**_

Those words keeps replaying within my mind, repeating itself inside my eardrumsーsoftly, slowly, lighter than a feather floating in the air. Like a wisp of breath, the voice murmured gracefully. It strokes my earlobes, as I find myself walking through the usual road nearby the riverbanks.

The usual roadーmy way back home from school.

The sun turns red, painting the twilight sky with purple and orange and pink all over. Such a beautiful view, I think. It reminds me of the very first time I met him, years ago.

 _ **「**_ _ **Now tell me, what kind of thing you're not supposed to do with knives?**_ _ **」**_

My chest tightens. Even little kids know the answer. It's so clear and obvious, I'm sure nobody will give the wrong answerーexcept those people. The misguided, bad ones.

I still remember my own answer for that question, three years ago: _"Point it to other people?"_

 _He smiled, and gently ruffled my hair._

 _ **「**_ _ **That's right. No matter what, only bad people will hurt others with their knives. That's why, do not ever use your powers to harm other people. Do you understand, Mob?**_ _ **」**_

A silent sigh comes out from my mouth. The answer is so very simple, yet there's so many people who fails to understand that. Why does it happen? Because they doesn't care? Because they deliberately turn their heads away and refuses to understand? Because they're blinded with urge to use their knives to fulfill their desires?

Thinking about him, it's been a while too, since the last time he called me for the job. I wonder, is he doing well? Is his business running smoothly? Does the work keeps him busy?

There are so many questions floating inside my already confused head. I decided to shrug them away and walk towards the end of the road, as the sun slowly being swallowed into the darkness of the dusk.

Oh, how I want to see him. How I want to meet him and let him swept my worries away. There are so many things I want to ask him about.

 _"As long as I didn't use my powers against others, it'll be fine...right?"_

 **MOB'S METER: 25%**

* * *

 _There's a hero in you_

 _Inside of you_

 _Oh, who resolved the doubt_

 _But I'm asking why I'm still here,_

 _Standing in the rain_

* * *

"I'm telling you to hand over your fucking money, you twerp!"

My shoulders shudder from the impact. They have thrown me on the wall, pinning my hurting shoulders with their hands. I feel their nails digging deep into my skin.

 **MOB'S METER: 45%**

"Just this? Just 200 yen? What the fuck?"

"That's all I have!" I retort in vain, only to be beaten up again and again. The pain burns into my nerves, rendering my mind into a mess. One of the punks punches my chest so hard, I nearly throw myself up. I begin to cough violently, slumping down to the ground. But they won't stop.

"Don't try to hide it, little shit. Give us ALL of your money, or you'll be sorry!"

Punches and kicks are being delivered to my entire body. Explosions of pain fills my skin. The warning signals of danger are flashing wildly in my brain. I'm afraid...if this keeps up, I'm going to pass out. No, no, no. I can't. I can't lose my consciousness. I have to endure...or elseー

 **MOB'S METER: 67%**

Ahhh. Blood spews, drenching and running from my mouth. My throat feels scorched, and tears welling up on my eyes. I swallow my screams, as they continue to wreck my helpless limbs. It hurts a lot, but Iー

 **「** **No matter what, only bad people will hurt others with their knives. That's why, do not ever use your powers to harm other people.** **」**

 **MOB'S METER: 88%**

The distress signal is reaching the limit, I can feel it clearly. My brain flickers into on and off, on and off. No, I keep telling myself. No. No. No. Please, don't. Don't pass out, now. No. Noー

 **「** **Do you understand, Mob?** **」**

 **MOB'S METER: 98%**

 _ **I CAN'T USE MY POWERS AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. I CAN'T. IF I LOSE CONTROL OVER THIS POWER, THEN HE'LL**_ _ **ー**_

 _ー_ _he'll hate me._

"Hey, is that Salt Mid student being beaten up there? And those guys, they're from XX High, right?"

 **MOB'S METER: 99%** **ー**

Hearing all the commotion, crowd starts surrounding me. The punks released their grip on my collar, running away in panic. With my blurred vision, I see a woman reaching her hands towards my face.

"Are you okay? Can you stand?" The woman asks, helping me standing up from the ground.

"That's my brother! Please, make a way!"

I hear a familiar voice yelling among the buzzing crowd. It's Ritsu. The colors of his face suddenly drained away after looking at my horrible condition.

"Nii-san! What happened!? Are you okay!?" He quickly rushes to my side, wrapping his arms into my shoulders.

"I'm...okay..." I can feel my voice grow weak. A loud cough comes out once or twice, blood splatters from my mouth.

"Let's just go home. We'll go see a doctor tomorrow. You can tell me the details later. Let's go, Nii-san."

At the moment Ritsu lends his shoulder for me to lean on, a tremendous warmth engulfs my aching arms. My heart throbs in pain, but the tension lowers steadily. A sigh of relief escapes my bloody lips.

 **MOB'S METER: 56%**

* * *

 _Did I fail you, dear_

 _Like painless suicide_

 _You buried the creed,_

 _beneath blood-red roses_

 _Had life… life had just begun_

 _I knew nothing could stay the same_

 _But feeling...can feeling last forever?_

* * *

"What the hell happened to you?"

I can't hide everything from him. His face shriveled in worry as his eyes intently tracing each line of my tattered, bruised face. My head hangs really, really low from shame and disgust towards my own self.

"Yesterday, some high school students wanted to take my money..."

"But you didn't use your power to fight them back?"

"I didn't."

For some reason, a thick cloud of uneasiness covers my muddy mind. I can't think straight. That time, the only thing that keeps my mind intact was his words. Those gentle words, spoken to me three years ago.

He sighs, then takes a seat right beside me.

"Take off your clothes," He orders me without hesitation at all, making my face heating up in embarrassment. Realizing my beet-red face, he quickly backpedals from his own words.

"I just want to see your wounds, Mob. Just do it."

Slowly, I remove my uniform, and then undressing my shirt. He examines my black-and-blue skin, which was hidden by my clothes. With his hands, he touches my aching back. Startled by his touch, I hold down a yelp from my throat.

"Bastards," He clicked his tongue, "This is terrible. At least...nothing's broken, right?"

"No, I'm fine."

He scratches his head, I can see his face darkens in an unknown expression. I can't tell what he's thinking or feeling right now.

"Eh? What's with these wounds?" Grabbing my arms, he takes a really good look on the slices printed there. "These wounds...looks like they're caused by sharp objectsー"

 **MOB'S METER: 60%**

Quickly, I pull my arms away. I can't control my breathingーI'm gasping in panic. Bullets of sweat running down my neck. Looking at my peculiar antics, he raises his eyebrows.

"Eh, what gives? Mob, are thoseー"

"They did it to me. Those punks slashed my arms with a pocket knife."

I notice that his eyes shines in sadness. There's a deep, dark shadow reflected on those clear eyes, which fixed intently at me. He gently caresses my bandaged cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Mob."

My thoughts are filled with confusion. "Why? Why are you apologizing?"

He quietly buttons my shirt and hands my uniform back. The silence pains my hurting heart. From the window, I see grains of water dripping solemnly from the sky. Grey clouds hanging above, blocking the sunlight to reach the earth. Dark, and freezing.

"You don't have to help with the work today. Go home and get some rest." He speaks softly, but exhaustion is clearly showing from his face.

With that, he sends me home. Right before I walk out of his office, he hands me an umbrella.

"Be careful not to catch a cold."

My shoes splashes down the puddles formed on the asphalt. The rain is unforgiving, cruel, and cold. I hear a thunder from the distance.

Mindlessly, I walk to my home. Being hit by the violent wind and rain earlier, I soon realize that I'm soaked wet from head to toe. I enter my room as fast as I canーI don't want my parents to see my sorry face. The umbrella slips away from my trembling fingers, it falls down to the floor.

"Oh, no," I mumble, "Shishou's umbrella. I have to take good care of it, and I have to return it back tomorrow..."

 **MOB'S METER: 73%**

My grip tightens on the umbrella. _What if he hates me now? What if he didn't believe me that I never_ _ー_ _even once_ _ー_ _used my powers against others? What if he never calls me again to help with his work?_

 **MOB'S METER: 84%**

I slump down, my legs have become so weak. The objects around my room are floating, caused by my powers. I see the drawers opening, and a box cutter comes out flying in the air.

 **MOB'S METER: 92%**

 _What if he hates me? I'm such a fool, I can't keep my words to him. I can't use my powers to hurt others, yet...I nearly lose control of myself. I'm such a fool, an idiot. I don't want to disappoint him, but I..._

 **MOB'S METER: 99%**

The box cutter flies in rage upon meeting contact of my psychic power. It slashes its way through everythingーmy face, my neck, my arms, and my shoulders. My skin burns as the blood slowly gushing from the wounds. The rain water, blood, and tears all melts away into one messy mix on my dirty face.

 _If I can't point this knife to others, then...at the very least, I can stab myself with it, right? It's better than I have to hurt others..._

 **MOB'S METER: 100%**

 _I don't want to be hated! No! Please, don't hate me! But I...have I disappoint you so much? Please, I want to be with you! I promise, I will not use my powers against other people! But, please, don't hate me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!_

 **100% DESPAIR.**

 _Ahhhh. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts_ _ー_

* * *

 _There's a hero in you_

 _Inside of you_

 _Oh, who resolved the doubt_

 _But I'm asking why I'm still here,_

 _Standing in the rain_

* * *

Early in the afternoon, I'm walking my way back home from the club activity. Because of my injuries, I wasn't able to completely follow the club's program for today. I was sent home early by the club president. Tome-san and the others were also worried about my condition. I really am a fool, always making others worry...

Unconsciously, my legs takes me to his office. My breath nearly stopped at that moment. I see his shadow from behind the window. He's still there, as usual. I want to invite myself in, entering his office, and talk to hin like nothing happened. But my chest tightens in pain whenever I recall his cold reactions. My bandaged arms stiffens, I feel a bitterness inside my mouth.

 _I'm sorry._

I turn my back, walking away from the office. I let my legs take me to nowhere, as my restless mind wanders thoroughly into deep, dark depths of despair. I find myself standing before an alley. This is the place where I was mugged days ago. The narrow alley reeks of wet garbage, mixed with the mud and the soil clumped from the rainfall.

 _Everything hurts. I want to cry, but my eyes are dry._

Suddenly, someone grabs my shoulders from behind. A middle-aged man tightly grasps my injured arm, I shriek in pain. His fingers violently clutches into my wounds, spreading intense pain all over my body.

"Hey, kid. Accompany me for a while. I can't hold it any longer. Anyone will do." The man whispers lustfully into my ears. I try to push him away, but he grabs on my injured arms even tighter. My brain paralyzed with pain, I can't even let out a scream.

"No...let me go!" Tears swelling up on my eyes. That's strange, just now...I thought that my eyes were so dry. The signals sent by my brain really works my body up. The adrenaline rushes into its peak, swirling my emotions into a ticking time bomb.

 **MOB'S METER: 79%**

The man forcefully rips my uniform. The buttons flying everywhere. _Oh, God. This can't be happening. If I let this...I'm going to be_ _ー_

 **MOB'S METER: 94%**

 _No! I can't use my power! Shishou will hate me for that! But I_ _ー_

 **MOB'S METER: 97%**

He's reaching for my belt and unbuckling it fast. My clothes makes rustling noises.

 **MOB'S METER: 100%**

 _IT'S DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!_

 **100% DISGUST.**

"MOB!"

I can hear his voice calling up my name, but it's all too late. The raging surge of pain and disgust that fills my heart is flooding out, throwing the man to the air. The assailant screams his lungs out as my powers bounces him back and forth, slamming him down to the concrete and to the alley's narrow walls. Cracking sounds coming out from the man's body, much to my own shock and horror.

"MOB, STOP IT!"

A slap hits my face, my cloudy eyes are once again opened. He's standing, right in front of me. His face is pale as a ghost. Awakened from my trance state, the man falls into the ground, unconscious. Looking at his limbs, probably his arms and legs are broken quite badly. I shudder at the sight.

"Shishou...I...I didn't mean it...I..."

Instead of asking about what was happening, he swiftly takes off his coat and covers my nearly naked body. He takes out his cellphone and calls for an ambulance.

"Let's go, Mob. You can tell me more about it later. For now, we should get away from hereー"

I can't hold it anymore. A hoarse cry roars out of my throat. My trembling hands clenched tightly onto his shirt, as I drown my face into his chest. All of my fears, my tension, my sorrow, rushes out of my system, and melts away into nothing.

 **MOB'S METER: 0%**

* * *

 _They said there's a hero in you, who'd fight with fears_

 _Who could set you free, from death, from the world_

 _In a world you've been left alone_

* * *

"Have you finally calmed down?"

I nod, slowly sipping a cup of tea. The warm tea helps me to regain my composure quickly.

My master sighs. He throws himself to a chair beside me, and wipes out a dirt on my face.

"It's probably because of my advice, right?" He ruffles my hair. "Listen up, about your psychic powers' restriction...I'll make an exception for it, okay?"

I look up to his faceーregret and pain shadowed his expression.

"If you're in grave danger, feel free to use it against other people. You can fight back, if those people are threatening your safety. It's for self-defense, after all."

"Is it true? Can I really...?" I ask in disbelief, still feeling bitter from the earlier incident. "What if I hurt other people too much...just like today?"

Weakly, I lean my head on his shoulder. My entire body is shaking uncontrollably.

 _"What if...I killed someone because of this powers?"_

 _ **"If that's the case...then I'll be there to stop you."**_

I look into his eyesーearnest and confident, it eases the heavy load hanging on my head.

"I'll be there to stop you, if you're going too far. That's why, it's okay to use your powers as a self-defense. Trust me, Mob."

Feeling the warmth from Shishou's arms, I snuggle into his chest. My heart is beating wildly, overflown with joy, anxiety, and fear. My body can't stop shaking.

"I'm glad...I thought you hated me that day. Because I nearly lost control of my powers..."

"No, actually, I'm kinda mad at you...at that moment."

I pushed myself back after hearing him saying that, but he quickly wraps his arms back again on me.

"I knew...the wounds on your arms...it was you who hurt yourself, wasn't it, Mob?"

I nod awkwardly. He's amazing, he can read through my mind that easily. It's no use to lie to him.

"Don't do that, I beg of you..." Shishou tightens his embrace. His heart is beating fast, not that different than mine. "I'm not angry about it anymore. It's probably because of my advice again, right? I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize," I speak hoarsely, "Instead of you, I'm the one who have to apologizeー"

"No. I'm really sorry, Mob. You've been hurting a lot because of my ignorance. I have failed as your master."

"You're not. I'm really thankful to have such a great person as my master. Don't blame yourself, Shishou."

He trembles a little, but then he calms himself really fast. He touches my bruised face softly, as if he's handling a really fragile thing. The chaotic spiral of emotions within me has disappeared by his touch alone. Shishou is truly amazing. He could calm the storm of my heart, sweep away all of my doubt and anxiety. However, the pain is still there. I know, it'll take quite some time to heal this aching feeling.

Shishou pulls ne into his embrace, once again.

"Promise me, you won't hurt yourself again just to avoid hurting others. If they really deserves it, just kick their asses."

"Yes, I promise."

"Thank you. You're a good boy, Mob. A really good boy."

The tears are trickling down my cheeks. It's warm, and painful.

"Thank you, Shishou."

I'm not a good boy. I'm actually the worst. Even though I'm the worst, but I'm really glad to have you in my life.

"By the way, Shishou. I forgot to return your umbrella."

* * *

 _There's a hero in you_

 _Inside of you_

 _Oh, who resolved the doubt_

 _But I'm asking why I'm still here,_

 _all by myself,_

 _feeling the touch of red,_

 _on my skin._

 _ **ー**_ _ **"Hero" (X Japan)**_


End file.
